Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Purpose...what a dreaded word

I have been in Southern California, working at Pine Summit Christian Camp for almost two months now. A few of you know that when I got here I entered a time of confusion, transition and insecruity. This camp has been up for sale since before I came...when I got here I was told that their was a serious buyer. Then I was informed that I might lose my job fairly soon and be coming back home far before planned. To say that this transition and my time thus far has been hard would be a great understatement. I struggled and battled with God..."Why did you even bring me out here, if I am only going to turn around and go back home? What is the purpose? What is my purpose here...what am I to do in such a short period of time? I can't do what I thought I was coming here to do?" And so on...
Tension, stress and anxiety have run amuck...God has been challenging me to live one day at a time...I mean really live and obey...So this past couple of weeks I have been going through this cycle of living and obeying for the day and leaving the rest in God's hands...to freaking out - "Lord, what's my purpose here? What am I doing...what am I suppossed to be doing...I feel like a failure."
Which brings me to today...yesterday I gave a book to someone who was brought to mind kinda out of the blue. To be honest I felt a little silly doing it...why would they want to read this book...they don't have enough time on their hands, etc. Despite these things I gave it to him. Well today he gave it back after finishing it late last night. Though he did not agree with everything in the book God used it to encourage and help him...and he shared that with me...I wasn't expecting this...
Something so small and insignificant in my mind...but it is what God used...so I started again to think about purpose...and I remembered this blog and what it stands for...what my journey in life is suppossed to be focused on...I am called to love others...I am called to be sensative to the Spirit's leading...I am called to serve those around me...if I do these things God will take care of the rest...He will use who He's going to use, how He's going to use them, all in His time. I don't rest enough in this truth...this is what I am learning.
So, I post my first blog of 2008 talking about purpose...I may not keep up with this daily, weekly or even monthly...and I don't expect you to check this that often...but when it is time for me to write, I write...who knows what purpose it might serve...if any...but I have to be willing to do it anyways...even if I don't understand the reasons...

3 comments:

Emily said...

Good job, Sarah. You have got it.

Janelle Schumacher said...

Sarah - thank you for your encouraging words. It is true that we can only take one day at a time. There's no use in worrying about tomorrow, we must live out today for all that God has planned for us to do - live for Him, serve Him, take care of His business - whether or not we know what it may be. I completely understand the turmoil that you have felt - you're not alone! God knows also and He is using you for great things. He will be faithful to you! I will pray for you - that God will do a great work in you and that you will feel the peace that surpasses all understanding!

kimmiB said...

So I know this was written ages ago but for me this is just another example of how God confirms the word he wants to give you. I'm not good at taking things one day at a time but running into this particular post reminded me of yesterday's devotion verse: "Boast not thyself of tomorrow; for thou knowest not what a day may bring forth." (Proverbs 27:1). Your blog stands as another reminder to me of my daily responsibility - following Him in obedience one day at a time. Thanks for writing :) See it really does serve a marvelous purpose.

-Kim Brown