"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of respect, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if something is excellent or praiseworthy, think about these things,"(Phillippians 4:8).
a few years ago while i was working at timber-lee christian center, i had a mentor who challenged me with this verse. she encouraged me to take every thought captive and hold it up against what i know to be true...it is amazing how incredibly hard this can be at times. i'll admit that one of my biggest struggles in life is being confident in who God has created me to be. i know it...but i don't always believe it...i am at constant war within my own mind of what is true and what isn't...some days the lies are easier to spot...and some days i just really don't know what the truth is...
so why am i telling you all this...well, this morning i had a customer tell me that i was incompetent...boy did that srike a nerve...it hurt...it's NOT true...and yet it gnaws at me...and frustrates me...how could he say something like that? why do i automatically second guess myself? why am i so apt to believe the lie and have to fight so hard to trust in and believe the turth? it just doesn't make sense...and so is my plight...the source of my fristration and anger at the moment...and thus the need to vent and the purpose of this post...
now that i have vented...and now you know my struggle...i just want to ask you for prayer...i am weary of this battle...i know i am God's child...i may struggle, but i am not incompetent...i don't always think before i say or do something, but i am not dumb...pray that i will continue to grow in confidence in God's truth...in who i am...i have come a long way since that time at timber-lee...and that is a praise within itself...i just need to contiue to hold on to and fight for the truth...
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3 comments:
I'm sorry we still haven't gotten to talk. I've been crazy busy! Hope you're well.
hae sarah i emailed u but not sure i got the right address how are u? well email me back my emails cheekychick_fromdown_thestreet@hotmail.com
god bless
Helene Kelly
What is incompetence? Is it not the feeling of not measuring up, a failure to live up to the standards of others? There are times in life when we fail God. We sin. We rebel. We do not care. We do not want to be responsible to an all-loving, all-caring, all-knowing God. We want...for ourselves. May you always struggle in the search for purity of thought and rightness of deed. In struggle we find life. (Even if we die, true life is found.) Struggle motivates action, and leads to strength. One of the hardest points in life is to trust God, when you feel that there is no answer. Be strong in the Lord, keep the faith, know the LORD.
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