Friday, April 18, 2008

don't forget to smell the roses...

I was in the process of writing an e-mail to a friend this morning...and this title hit me..."don't forget to smell the roses." Then I remembered something one of my friends told me earlier this week - "Sarah, walk." You know that whole 'be still' concept...well I kinda suck at it. If I'm not doing something then my mind goes into overdrive...it spins with everything I'm not doing and should be doing or want to be doing. I forget to thank God for the wonderful things He has done for me today...I neglect to wonder at His glories all around me. I am trying to find ways to 'smell the roses.' I don't want to go through life not having expeirenced it. So, what do I do...well this week, I try to walk to work a little bit slower...i close my eyes and feel the sun...I look around at the trees, the sky, the mountain and let my breath get taken away.
You know I read somewhere about how children can spend hours marveling on one seemingly insignificant thing...to have that childlike wonder again...and oh, how we as adults push that mentality away. We have to hurry...no doddling...come on, lets go now...it's hard to remember to smell the roses or even want to when you get rebuked for it, whether by someone else or even by your own self. Someone asked once..."What are we all running to anyways, why are they in such a hurry."
When you get caught up in the business of the day ask yourself two questions...(1) Why am I running? (2) Did I smell the roses today?

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Purpose...what a dreaded word

I have been in Southern California, working at Pine Summit Christian Camp for almost two months now. A few of you know that when I got here I entered a time of confusion, transition and insecruity. This camp has been up for sale since before I came...when I got here I was told that their was a serious buyer. Then I was informed that I might lose my job fairly soon and be coming back home far before planned. To say that this transition and my time thus far has been hard would be a great understatement. I struggled and battled with God..."Why did you even bring me out here, if I am only going to turn around and go back home? What is the purpose? What is my purpose here...what am I to do in such a short period of time? I can't do what I thought I was coming here to do?" And so on...
Tension, stress and anxiety have run amuck...God has been challenging me to live one day at a time...I mean really live and obey...So this past couple of weeks I have been going through this cycle of living and obeying for the day and leaving the rest in God's hands...to freaking out - "Lord, what's my purpose here? What am I doing...what am I suppossed to be doing...I feel like a failure."
Which brings me to today...yesterday I gave a book to someone who was brought to mind kinda out of the blue. To be honest I felt a little silly doing it...why would they want to read this book...they don't have enough time on their hands, etc. Despite these things I gave it to him. Well today he gave it back after finishing it late last night. Though he did not agree with everything in the book God used it to encourage and help him...and he shared that with me...I wasn't expecting this...
Something so small and insignificant in my mind...but it is what God used...so I started again to think about purpose...and I remembered this blog and what it stands for...what my journey in life is suppossed to be focused on...I am called to love others...I am called to be sensative to the Spirit's leading...I am called to serve those around me...if I do these things God will take care of the rest...He will use who He's going to use, how He's going to use them, all in His time. I don't rest enough in this truth...this is what I am learning.
So, I post my first blog of 2008 talking about purpose...I may not keep up with this daily, weekly or even monthly...and I don't expect you to check this that often...but when it is time for me to write, I write...who knows what purpose it might serve...if any...but I have to be willing to do it anyways...even if I don't understand the reasons...